There’s no place like your home’

Freehold – aka Two Pigeons – is a 2017 British black comedy horror film directed by Dominic Bridges from a screenplay co-written with Rae Brunton (Outpost franchise). It stars Javier Botet, Mandeep Dhillon and Michael McKell.

An oily, amoral estate agent is preyed upon by one of his victims, who quietly moves into his flat and, unseen, begins a deliciously malicious campaign of revenge…

Reviews:

“A claustrophobic black comedy which initially seems surreal but becomes disturbingly more credible as its bizarre situation is explored, director Dominic Bridges’ debut feature demonstrates that there are few horrors an audience will not tolerate – indeed, will encourage – if the victim involved is suitably odious.” Kim Newman, Screen Daily

“Co-writer/director Dominic Bridge’s pitch-black comedy effectively crawls under your skin, but its lack of any sort of cohesive resolution makes Two Pigeons something of a befuddling affair in the end (which is a shame, because I was wholly transfixed throughout the rest of the film). We get no sense of finality in the conflict between Hussein and his sadistic antagonist, leaving me with a bit of a “ho-hum” feeling at the conclusion of Two Pigeons.” Heather Wixson, Daily Dead

“Freehold builds a creepy, skin-crawling sense of dread from the get-go, thanks to the melancholy soundtrack and the work of Javier Botet […] The subtle way in which Orlan encroaches on Hussein’s life is actually a [dark] joy to watch, slowly becoming more and more horrific and more and more brazen, yet somehow still being darkly hilarious.” Phil Wheat, Nerdly

” …finds entertainment in dark mind-fucking comedics – but not enough to sustain Dominic Bridges’ slow-simmering room share. The ideas are there and Javier Botet does his best to pull us into his deranged world, but good luck fully comprehending why. It all feels longer than it should be, even at eighty minutes.” Matt Donato, We Got This Covered

“Had the ending (up to and including the credits) been recalibrated, Bridges’ debut could have reached the next level he’s aiming for. As is, the social drama feels a bit ham-fisted. Even so, Two Pigeons has enough nasty treats in store to at least warrant a look from genre fans.” Tom Kiesecoms, Screen Anarchy

“Though masterful in its imagery and sound design, and memorable in its outstanding cast, the style and acting does not make up for the missed opportunities to resolve character arcs, which in turn resulted in an underwhelming third act. The hard truth is that Two Pigeons would have been at its strongest as a short film. Its stagnant pacing and dead-end character arc made for a lacklustre viewing experience…” Anya Novak, Diabolique

“Director Dominic Bridges intentionally unsettles atmosphere this way, making for a movie that always knows what it is doing, even when the audience doesn’t. Whether this approach translates into entertainment or appreciation for the artistry depends on how many minutes one wishes to spend in the often uncomfortable presence of these two often awkward men.” Ian Sedensky, Culture Crypt

“Thanks to its excellent balance of humor and horror, and the compelling physical presence of Botet, Two Pigeons will make you check your closets and under your bed every time you misjudge how much toilet paper you had.” The Wolfman Cometh

“Distinguished by body shape, race and temperament, the two excellent leads here make for an engagingly odd couple, and DP Ben Moulden keeps the restricted location interesting by shooting it from every imaginable angle. Freehold is also, for all its intimacy, a distinctly topical film, offering a perverse kind of wish fulfilment for anyone who has had to deal with the vagaries of the metropolitan housing crisis or the amoral venality of estate agents.” Jonathan Hatfull, SciFi Now

Buy DVD: Amazon.co.uk

“This movie seriously preys on our unconscious fears: that even with our doors safely locked, our bodies, our safety, our personal space are not inviolable while we sleep. Every day, Orlan’s violation and desecration escalates. YOUR SKIN WILL CRAWL. The one problem I had with the film is how unperceptive Hussein is. It feels just a tad too much that no matter how far Orlan takes the transgressions, Hussein just kind of shrugs it off…” Assholes Watching Movies

“Two Pigeons has the kind of concept that would work great for a 15 minute short film; unfortunately this debut feature from Dominic Bridges is over five times that length, and it’s easy to get disinterested by the languid pacing. There aren’t any twists in Orlan’s objective, whether they be deliberate or unintended. And it seems to take forever to get to its predictable culmination…” Rob Trench, Talk Film Society

Main cast:

Javier Botet (The Conjuring 2; Mama) Mandeep Dhillon, Michael McKell, Kola Bokinni, Dee Kaate, Lee Macdonald, Mim Shaikh, David Vujanic.

Running time:

80 minutes

Trivia:

The film was originally known as Two Pigeons

IMDb

Slimed is a 2010 American comedy science fiction horror film written and directed by Eric Manche and Jeff Nitzberg. It stars Jordan Lee, Dustin Triplett and Jessica Borusky.

An ill-tempered park ranger and a peppy bible salesman hatch a harebrained scheme to save a nature preserve from government shutdown.

Deep in the wilderness, they discover that the park has a much bigger problem: a mysterious and sinister toxic slime that is oozing its way towards destroying not just the woods but the entire free world. Together they must come together to battle incomprehensible evil, uncover endless stupidity and avoid exploding children at all cost…

Slimed can be viewed on Troma Now, Troma Entertainment’s exclusive content streaming service. The filmmakers explain how the project came to be finally released online:

“Nearly 10 years ago we wrapped up Slimed, a 100% independent piece of ridiculous, schlock cinema that we began as students at Rhode Island School of Design and finished three years after graduating.

We packed it with everything we wanted to see in a movie: absurdity, action, comedy, apocalyptic stakes and evil hand puppets. After four years of all-nighters and ferocious debates, Slimed was complete.

We were always inspired by Matt Parker’s and Trey Stone’s Cannibal! The Musical. From its humble student-project beginning to Troma classic status, Cannibal! The Musical taught us that, despite having no budget, connections, or big names, it was possible to bring an epic, anarchic vision to life.

Slimed garnered a small cult following around the globe. This modest but loyal fan base kept the movie circulating, with a consistent outpouring of internet love. Despite not finding a larger audience, Slimed found its place among those random people that stumbled upon it.

This year, Troma Entertainment found Slimed through the typical gateway path – a late-night movie marathon in someone’s living room. When we got the call that Troma was interested in releasing Slimed, it was like the circle had completed itself. We couldn’t feel more at home and more excited to share Slimed with the Troma family.”

IMDb | Official site | Facebook

Source: Horror Society

‘Paper or plastic? The choice is yours.’

Bagman is a 2017 Canadian comedy horror film directed by Logan Wilson and Phillip Wilson from a screenplay by the latter, who also stars alongside Maya Molly and Gary Layton.

A man named Bagman wears a paper bag mask and kills people for not recycling plastic…

Filming locations:

Edmonton and Sherwood Park, Alberta, Canada

IMDb | Facebook

‘You drink… you die!’

Bacchanalia is a 2015 British-French comedy horror film written and directed by Gary Meyer. It stars Lucinda Rhodes Thakrar, Miglen Mirtchev and.

What seems like an innocent wine tasting weekend in France turns into a bizarre, wicked, sensually overheated debauchery, culminating in a murderous grand finale evening and fateful morning after…

Bacchanalia is released on DVD and VOD in the United States on October 10, 2017, courtesy of Bayview Entertainment and Gravitas Ventures.

Main cast:

Lucinda Rhodes Thakrar, Miglen Mirtchev, Kim Sønderholm, J.C. Montes-Roldan, Kasia Koleczek, Mariana Peñalva, Kyle Underwood, Edmund Digby-Jones

Filming locations:

Provence-Alpes-Côte d’Azur, France

Trivia:

The film was shot as The Winedancers

IMDb | Related: The Grapes of Death (France, 1978)

Bone Chillers is a 1996 American comedy horror television series directed by Adam Rifkin (Director’s Cut; Psycho Cop 2; The Invisible Maniac) for Hyperion Pictures, based on a series of children’s novels by Betsy Haynes.

The thirteen episode series stars Esteban Powell, Trey Alexander, Linda Cardellini, John Patrick White and Saadia Persad.

Special effects were provided by the Alterian company (Cult of Chucky; Zombieland; The Craft; The Tommyknockers; et al).

In the US, the series was shown by ABC, whilst it was on the Disney Channel in the UK. Although released on VHS, Bone Chillers episodes have never been released on DVD.

Four freshmen at Edgar Allan Poe High School not only have to deal with the normal pressures of competing with the cool kids and the jocks, but also have to contend with all sorts of weird happenings. Assisting the main characters was Barry the custodian, who lived in the school’s basement. There was the feared cook of the school, Carl, the ditzy Miss Dewberry, and the evil Principal Percival Pussman.

At the end of each episode, original author Betsy Haynes would appear in an educational segment encouraging young viewers to exercise their imaginations…

Cast and characters:

• Esteban Powell … Brian Holsapple
• Trey Alexander … Kirk (Dahmer vs. Gacy; Charmed)
• Linda Cardellini … Sarah (Velma in the first two live-action Scooby-Doo movies)
• John Patrick White … Fitzgerald Crump (Children of the Corn 666; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Sabrina, the Teenage Witch; Phantom Town aka Spooky Town)
• Saadia Persad … Lexi
• Danielle Weeks … Tiffany
• Erick Avari … Doctor Lumbago
• Charles Fleischer … Arnie
• Josh Hecox …Doctor Feelgood

Wikipedia | IMDb

‘You’ll laugh all the way to the blood bank!’

Transylvania Twist is a 1989 American comedy horror film directed by Jim Wynorski (CobraGator; The Wasp Woman; Chopping Mall; et al) from a screenplay co-written with R.J. Robertson (The Haunting of Morella; Not of This Earth; Forbidden World).

In 2013, director Jim Wynorski said this film “comes closest to my personality and was the film I had the most fun making. It was the show I never wanted to end.”

Dexter Ward (Steve Altman) discovers that his apparently dead uncle (Jay Robinson) is not actually dead. Dexter is then sent to find and bring back The Book of Ulthar, a book of great power capable of unleashing terrible evil in the wrong hands.

Dexter’s search leads him to aspiring singing star Marissa Orlock (Teri Copley), who is about to be informed of the death of her father Marinas (Howard Morris), and her inheritance of Castle Orlock in Transylvania. Dexter goes with her to the castle.

Victor Van Helsing (Ace Mask), a professional vampire hunter, accompanies Marissa and Dexter to the castle as the executor of her father’s estate. Unfortunately, Count Byron Orlock (Robert Vaughn), and his three adopted-daughters – who are also vampires – are already at the castle…

Reviews:

“It’s a decent spoof with spooky sets and something that’s appropriate to watch with a younger crowd, or those wanting to see the scenes involving the big horror franchises or see Angus Scrimm’s amusing cameo. It has its share of quality scenes, but as a movie falls a tad short of one that you should add to your collection, unless you’re a hardcore spoof fan.” Brett H., Oh, the Horror!

“The horror-movie spoof Transylvania Twist isn’t an entirely successful cinematic endeavor, but at least half its gags manage to score, and, coupled with the fact that it doesn’t stoop to bottom-basement toilet humor, this is enough to warrant a slight recommendation.” Jack Sommersby, eFilmCritic

“A witless series of verbal and visual puns, non sequiturs and movie-fan in-jokes…” John Stanley, Creature Features

Choice dialogue:

Yellow cab driver in Transylvania: “Hey, in New York you got your junkies. Here, you got your zombies. What’s the difference? They all look like Keith Richards anyway.”

Dexter Ward: “I was gonna be a lawyer but I couldn’t stand the sight of blood.”

Marissa (possessed): “Your mother sews socks in Hell!”

Von Helsing: “Don’t ask me young fellow. Vampires, I know. But this Lovecraft stuff is out of my league.”

Cast and characters:

• Robert Vaughn: Lord Byron Orlock
• Teri Copley: Marissa Orlock
• Steve Altman: Dexter Ward
• Ace Mask: Victor Von Helsing
• Angus Scrimm: Stefen (The Tall Man in Phantasm movies)
• Steve Franken: Hans Hoff
• Vinette Cecelia: Laverne
• Monique Gabrielle: Patty aka Patricia (Evil Toons)
• Howard Morris: Marinas Orlock
• Jay Robinson: Uncle Ephram
• Lenny Juliano: Maxie Fields
• Joe Lerer: Hans Downe
• Clement von Franckenstein: Hans Hoff
• R.J. Robertson: Hans Phull
• Arthur Roberts: Hans N. Fritz
• Toni Naples: Maxine
• Frazer Smith: Slick Lambert
• Becky LeBeau: Rita
• Stu Nahan: Sports Announcer
• Jack Behr: Direttore
• Kelli Maroney: Hannah
• Michael Chieffo: Ed Norton Look-Alike
• Jon Locke: Mr. Sweeney
• Magda Harout: Peasant Woman
• Deanna Lund: Insegnante
• Brinke Stevens: Betty Lou
• Harriet Harris: Granny
• Michael Vlastas: James Vasvolakas
• Art Hern: Willoughby
• Dean Jones: Pinhead (as Dean C. Jones)
• Boris Karloff [in footage from The Terror, 1963]

Trivia:

The movie title comes from a line in the 1962 song Monster Mash by Bobby “Boris” Pickett

Wikipedia | IMDb

Dark Roast will have its world premiere at the NOLA Horror Film Fest in New Orleans, LA on September 23, followed by October screenings at the Sanford International Film Festival in Sanford, ME and the Halloween International Film Festival in Kill Devil Hills, NC.

Dark Roast was initially conceived as a feature film but was condescend into a short due to the limited resources available. Writer-director Hansson plans to use his short as a calling card in the hopes of producing the full feature, as he explains: “The tone and premise reflect what the eventual feature will bring, in addition to more story, more heart, and much more blood.”

IMDb | Dark Roast on Facebook

‘Where the student body is going to pieces.’

Slaughter High is a 1986 American-British independent slasher horror film written and directed by George Dugdale, Mark Ezra and Peter Litten. The Steve Minasian and Dick Randall production stars Caroline Munro, Simon Scuddamore and Carmine Iannoccone.

On October 30, 2017, the film is released as part of Vestron Video Collector’s Series from Lionsgate, uncut for the first time on limited-edition Blu-ray.

Special features:

• Audio Commentary with Co-Writers/Directors George Dugdale and Peter Litten
• Audio Interview with Composer Harry Manfredini featuring Isolated Music and SFX Selections
• Going to Pieces – Featurette with Co-Writer/Director Mark Ezra
• My Days at Doddsville – Featurette with Actress Caroline Munro
• Alternate Title Sequence
• Theatrical Trailer
• Still Gallery

Buy Blu-ray: Amazon.com

Review:

Slaughter High closely follows the tropes of many other slasher films of the period and is mostly notable for the casting of Caroline Munro in the lead female role and the distinctive jester’s mask worn by the killer. It was originally titled April Fool’s Day.

In an American high school populated by the usual jocks, hot girls and outcasts, Marty Rantzen (Simon Scuddamore) is most firmly the latter, the atypical, bespectacled nerd, good at complicated sums, not so good on basic human interaction.

Come April Fool’s Day, Marty can’t believe his luck as he is lured by school sex siren, Carol (Munro) into the girls’ locker room for a baptism of shower-based sex. Alas, this is not the case and whilst disrobed and expectant in the shower, the curtain is pulled to reveal the school jokers armed with video recording equipment and a fire extinguisher to put a dampener on Marty’s dreams and his dignity down the toilet (which is literally where he’s heading, face down, thanks to his tormentors dangling him in).

He is ‘rescued’ by the arrival of the military instructor-like sports coach (played by Marc Smith, best known for his voice acting, of note his redubbing on Dario Argento’s Four Flies on Grey Velvet, and Deep Red) who does little to sympathise with Marty but does insist all the boys responsible report for detention that afternoon.

Cleaned up, Marty is given a joint by arch bully Skip (Carmine Iannaccone) as an apology, though it is in fact laced with something less desirable. Sometime later, when Marty is diligently conducting solo chemistry experiments, he tries the joint and immediately rushes to the nearest public convenience to vomit.

In his absence, Skip (even shirking detention, the rotter) enters the lab and rigs the experiment to blow up in Marty’s face. This does indeed have the desired effect but in the mayhem of the detonation, Marty knocks a jar of acid over himself, the net result being a half destroyed school and a hideously disfigured and broken nerd.

Some years later (anywhere between five and ten), Marty has disappeared from public life, doomed to a lonely existence as a scarred, damaged and apparently insane man. Meanwhile, his school ‘friends’ are enjoying their reunion, which happens to be on April Fool’s Day. Deciding to revisit their now closed school, though the corridors are still roamed by the old janitor, whose portrayal sets the racial equality movement back several decades.

As the kids get down to drinking, smoking, snorting high jinks, the janitor is lifted off the ground by a jester-masked figure (actually played by co-director Ezra) and impaled on a coat hook. So begins a one-by-one slaying of the gang in occasionally inventive ways (intestinal explosion by tampered-with beer is a highlight) in a school which for reasons which are unclear, houses both a bath and a bed. The jester figure is, of course, Marty, eager to exact his revenge, though he leaves his beloved Carol until the end…

Slaughter High is a prime example of the problems which can arise from transatlantic co-productions. Supposedly set in an American school, all the locations are obviously leafy Britain, the population of students and staff also British but tasked with adopting US accents. The resulting fake accents aren’t awful but are all underpinned by the hopelessly forced insistence that in no way is the wool being pulled over our eyes.

A former Victorian sanitarium was used for filming (therefore, it did indeed have a bath in situ), so the visuals feel very cramped and footage was clearly shot in just a smattering of locations, again giving the impression that something is being kept from us.

The April Fool’s Day setting does leave the audience with that ‘one last gag’ feeling always looming on the horizon, though this could have been even more lumbering, the title having to be changed from April Fool’s Day to Slaughter High due to a genuinely unfortunate timing issue with the better-known film of that title just pipping it to the release post. Some prints retain the original title and have the replacement hastily tagged on as an apparent afterthought – Vestron’s Japanese release didn’t even bother with the afterthought.

There is a certain irony of the film revolving around a date that so fuels the plot, time and continuity being haphazard throughout, from the eye-narrowing anniversary reunion timing to the incredulity-testing age of the students – Caroline Munro clocking in at 36 years-old at the time of filming and many of her co-stars well into their twenties at least.

Dugdale and Ezra combined again on the curious if ultimately beige Living Doll (1990) with only the latter evidently staying in the industry, though with little in the way of breakout hits. Co-director Litten had slightly more lasting influence, his special effects creature work seen in RawHead Rex and more significantly culturally as the co-creator of the non-more-80’s Max Headroom.

Caroline Munro is sadly miscast, still radiant but a sore thumb as a school girl and barely more believable as an airhead actress who is just about savvy enough to avoid the casting couch of leering movie producer, Manny (played by actual film producer Dick Randall of Don’t Open Till Christmas and Pieces frame; never one to miss a trick, a poster for the latter movie hangs behind him in his office). Munro appeared in the film off the back of The Last Horror Show, before 1987’s Faceless and Howl of the Devil signalled her all but withdrawal from the genre until recently.

Scuddamore is far more serviceable in his role, a believable nerd whose character is let down by innate dumbness, belying his academic genius. Given a large school as his lair, it is weakly and unrealistically dressed, leaving him to bookend the film as Ezra, rather meanly, does the jester-masked stomping around. Sadly, aged only 28, Scuddamore took his own life in November 1984 – shortly after filming his parts – through a drugs overdose.

With a masked killer, illegal substances, lithe teens and variable morals, it is fitting that the score is composed and performed by Harry Manfredini, a huge nod to the film’s primary influence, Friday the 13th. Manfredini is one of the luckiest of composers for horror films, his career largely pivoting on his work on the 1980 slasher classic, a score which, in truth, consists of piled-high stingers, pilfered exaggerated strings and the oft-repeated killer’s theme and little else of interest. Here he is rumbled somewhat, a clearly more meagre budget revealing his work to be perfunctory at best, at worst cringe-worthy tripe.

Somehow, despite all this, Slaughter High is strangely rewarding viewing. Perhaps it’s the carefree, glitch-ridden production values; perhaps it’s the contact threat of Munro relieving herself of her flouncy, voluminous dress suit (she doesn’t, instead the main nudity is, surprisingly, male and full-frontal). It’s possibly the fact that it sticks to the slasher rulebook so rigidly, the viewer can put in the least effort imaginable to watch… although the ending will jolt even the most heavy-lidded audience out of its slumber with its ridiculousness.

Daz Lawrence, Horrorpedia

Other reviews:

” …wonky transatlantic accents and a plot which fuses gimmicks from Terror Train and The Burning to come up with an apparently serious rerun of National Lampoon’s Class Reunion (1982) […] The murders (featuring poisoned beer, acid baths and electrified bedsteads) tend to reduce victims to semi-comic smoking messes…” Phil Hardy (editor), The Aurum Film Encyclopedia: Horror

“Inspired by many earlier (superior) films, there’s hardly an original device in the entire thing. Credit to the writers for coming up with some gross methods of dying, though. The cast are hardly outstanding and Harry Manfredini provides another highly annoying score.” Jim Harper, Legacy of Blood: A Comprehensive Guide to Slasher Movies

Buy: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk

“The mask is amazingly effective […] The setup is perfect as is the location […] The kills are very cool and some are pretty innovative. I particularly liked the lawnmower death. They are quite bloody too. I loved the creepy music! It’s no shock that Harry Manfredini is to thank for this awesome score. The effects are actually quite good.” Ronnie Angel, Slasher Dreams: The Ultimate Guide to Slasher Films

Buy: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.ca

Cast and characters:

• Simon Scudamore as Marty Rantzen (credited as Simon Scuddamore)
• Caroline Munro as Carol Manning
• Carmine Iannaconne as Skip Pollack
• Donna Yeager as Stella
• Gary Martin as Joe
• Billy Hartman as Frank
• Michael Saffran as Ted Harrison
• John Segal as Carl Putney
• Kelly Baker as Nancy
• Sally Cross as Susan
• Josephine Scandi as Shirley
• Marc Smith as Coach
• Dick Randall as Manny
• Jon Clark as Digby

Buy: Amazon.com

Buy: Amazon.com

Buy: Amazon.com

Filming locations:

Former Holloway Sanitarium, Virginia Water, Surrey (also used for Ozzy Osbourne’s ‘Bark at the Moon’ video and Jack the Ripper TV mini-series in 1988).

Wikipedia | IMDb

Dead Ant is a 2017 American science fiction comedy horror film written and directed by Ron Carlson from a story co-written by Hank Braxtan and Dan Sinclair. The August Heart Entertainment production stars Sean Astin, Jake Busey and Michael Horse.

When the 1989 one-hit-wonder glam metal band Sonic Grave embark on a trip to Coachella in hopes of a comeback, their peyote trip pit stop in Joshua Tree incites an “unworldly” viscous attack, and they must “rock” themselves out of harms way…

Dead Ant premieres at Screamfest in Hollywood in October 2017.

Main cast:

Sean Astin, Jake Busey, Michael Horse, Tom Arnold, Leisha Hailey, Rhys Coiro, Abigail Johns, Danny Woodburn, Sydney Sweeney, Natasha Blasick, Shawn C. Phillips, Camilla Jackson, Amber Martinez, Joi Liaye, Shevyn Roberts.

IMDb

‘Hungry for a killer meal?’

Drive-Thru – aka Drive Thru – is a 2007 American dark comedy horror film written and directed by Brendan Cowles and Shane Kuhn. It stars Leighton Meester and Nicholas D’Agosto.

Brandon Meeks (Edward DeRuiter), Tony (Haven Lamoureux) and their girlfriends, Brittany (Jessica Landon) and Tiffany (Nicole Cavazos) arrive at the fast food restaurant “Hella Burger”.

Upon placing an order at the drive-thru, the group are introduced to the restaurant’s mascot, Horny the Clown via intercom. The group is continuously insulted after Brandon mouths off to him, causing a furious Tony to enter. He searches the restaurant and hears a commotion coming from the kitchen.

After looking around in the walk-in cooler, Horny suddenly jumps out and attacks him across the room before dunking him face first in the deep fryer. Brandon soon enters, only to find Tony dead in the deep fryer much to his horror before he is attacked and murdered by Horny with a meat cleaver. Horny proceeds outside and brutally murders Brittany and Tiffany when they discover the bodies of their boyfriends in the backseat…

Reviews:

” …the slice and dice schlock that drives timeless terror treasures like Halloween, Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street is all but missing here. In its place is pointless post-millennial irony, that worthless wit that screenwriters consider comedy nowadays, along with a huge helping of callous characterization. Sure, the filmmakers have to give the villain something vile to vivisect, but in the case of this caustic cast, no one is worth supporting – or saving.” Bill Gibron, DVD Talk

“The killer is kinda weak too and he makes lame wisecracks like, “Fries are up!” and “Say cheese!” He sticks a dude’s face into the deep fryer, decapitates another guy, and sticks an axe in one guy’s head. Too bad a lot of the gore scenes are ruined by a lot of fake looking effects. In particular, the potentially cool head-in-the-microwave scene is ruined by some truly shoddy CGI.” Mitch Lowell, The Video Vacuum

“There’s absolutely no denying that the film looks great. We’re talking theatrical quality production values here. Kind of hard for me to rectify in my mind that the same guys who co-directed this movie with such professionalism from a technical standpoint also manufactured a screenplay that’s every bit as bad as any you’d find in so many of the amateurish slasher flicks that litter DVD shelves these days.” Jon Condit, Dread Central

“The killings are rather random and there’s not much gore here. My biggest problem with the movie was… well… the entire story. Was the killer a ghost? This was never rectified. Given the supernatural messages which were sent to Mackenzie, he would have to be, but we never know for sure. Given the amount of detail which went into linking the victims, the vague ending is a let-down.” DVD Crypt 

“…a standard paint-by-numbers horror flick that falls short on being even the least bit frightening, falls short on humor but is high on head splitting, virginal final girls, and red tinted Karyo syrup. At least you know what you’re getting before you go in.” Christopher Armstead, Film Critics United

Cast and characters:

• Leighton Meester as Mackenzie Carpenter
• Nicholas D’Agosto as Fisher Kent
• Melora Hardin as Marcia Carpenter
• Lola Glaudini as Detective Brenda Chase
• Larry Joe Campbell as Detective Dwayne Crockers
• Penn Badgley as Van
• Rachael Bella as Starfire
• Shedrack Anderson as Chuck Taylor
• Sean Whalen as Eddie
• Robert Curtis Brown as Bert McCandless
• John Gilbert as Jack Benjamin
• Maliabeth Johnson as Tina McCandless
• Clyde Kusatsu as Fred Kukizaki
• Edward DeRuiter as Brandon Meeks
• Van De La Plante as Horny the Clown / Archie Benjamin
• Sita Young as Val Espinoza
• Haven Lamoureux as Tony
• Paul Ganus as Bill Carpenter
• Morgan Spurlock as Robbie
• Gordon Clapp as Voice of the Horny The Clown

Wikipedia | IMDb

‘Part man, Part cow, udderly crazy!’

Mad Cow – aka Madcow – is a 2010 South African-British comedy horror film co-directed by Michael Wright and Michael J. Rix from a screenplay by Wright. It stars Greg Viljoen, Tanya van Graan and Angus Douglas.

A crazed scientist creates a half-man, half-cow creature that goes on the rampage at an African game lodge…

Since 2015, the film is distributed worldwide by Troma Entertainment.

Reviews:

“Mad Cow is nonsensical in every sense of the word. Gags are crammed into your eye sockets and ear holes, and while many fail at eliciting even a twitch of your synapses, there are many which will have you smirking like an idiot. The comedy is not for everyone, so if you dislike films like Airplane! (or Flying High, as it’s also known), then you probably won’t enjoy this…” Dan Caps, HorrorNews.net

Buy DVD: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk

“It has a little something for everybody: comedy, horror, romance, car chases, zombies, musical numbers etc. Name any genre of film and chances are they tried to make it fit in the film. The Adult Swim/ homemade style fits perfectly with such an absurd concept. As cheesy as it sounds, I like this movie for its heart alone.” Vidal Granandos

“A film like Madcow should really go for the jugular: deliver some bonkers effects, gore and laughs, but Wright and Rix’s film just doesn’t have enough gas to make it all the way. Even the titular cow looks more than a bit cheap and silly. This one’s a misfire.” Scyther, Rock! Shock! Pop!

“The acting is atrociously good, and I love the performance given by Gregg Viljoen, who portrays Vince Chopper. Viljoen delivers one-liners like a pro, and his straight-face expression through everything is a huge part of what makes his character so much fun. The special effects in Mad Cow are decent enough to pass off as entertaining.” Matthew Scott Baker, Shattered Ravings

Buy book: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.ca

“You could almost believe this was a Troma in-house movie made in the 80’s at times, but there are perhaps a few slow portions or jokes that don’t work that end up making this one fall just a bit short of perhaps some of the classics, but what you do get isn’t bad…” Zombies Don’t Run

Filming locations:

Johannesburg, South Africa

IMDb | Thanks: Jeff Gilbert @ Drinkin’ & Drive-In

Image credits: Zombies Don’t Run

‘The most feared monsters in cinematic history have met their match’

Stan Helsing is a 2009 Canadian-American comedy horror parody film written and directed by Bo Zenga (executive producer of Scary Movie and Turistas). It stars Steve Howey, Kenan Thompson, Diora Baird and Desi Lydic.

Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) is an underachieving employee at a video rental store named Schlockbuster. His teen-aged boss Sully orders him to drop off a bag of movies to the mother of the store’s owner or risk not having a job Monday morning.

Despite his arguments, he agrees to the request and manages to get his friend Teddy (Kenan Thompson), his ex-girlfriend Nadine (Diora Baird) and blonde massage therapist Mia (Desi Lydic) to take him there before they attend a Halloween party, even though it’s on the other side of town.

En route, to Stan’s surprise, he spots Lucky, the living doll (Jeff Gulka), who makes obscene gestures in the van next to them. Because of this disturbance, they miss their exit and decide to take a shortcut.

They come across a gas station where the perverted owners tell Stan that he may be related to the legendary Abraham Van Helsing, the monster hunter. They depart and after finding Stormy Night Estates, they discover the attendants never put gas into the car.

After they leave, they discover that all the citizens, including their waitress, Kay (Leslie Nielsen), were actually dead due to a massive fire that consumed the town ten years earlier. They encounter several monsters including lookalikes of Pinhead, the hockey-masked killer Jason Voorhees, Chucky, Freddy Krueger, Leatherface, and a Jewish Michael Meyers…

The film apparently cost $14 million but only took $11,014,125 at the box office.

Reviews:

“Stan Helsing is sloppily made, committed to the lowest form of comedy to see itself to the end. Why play so aggressively crude? Zenga displays only a tenuous grasp on timing and delivery, throwing out whatever taboo, sexualized, or gross-out idea he can to keep the viewer interested. It’s a shame nothing in the film generates laughs, as the picture has energy to spare.” Brian Orndorf, Blu-ray.com

“The jokes came fast and the jokes came furiously but very few of the jokes were funny […] The only thing that saved this parody is that it was STILL better than those Seltzer / Friedberg ‘parodies’ Date Movie and their brethren.” Film Critics United

“A detention hall filled with 14-year-old boys would probably demand greater sophistication […] By the time we reach the climactic karaoke smackdown, we have learned more about Freddy Krueger’s personal hygiene challenges — and how to make a shockingly bad movie — than we ever wanted to know.” Jeanette Catsoulis, The New York Times

“It’s not a great movie by any means, but compared to the Friedberg/Seltzer output, it looks like a masterpiece, and it’s got a handful of funny ad-libs and at least a couple of gorgeous women […] As for Stan Helsing, some of you would hate watching a bunch of faux horror icons performing a parody version of “YMCA”, and others might find it mildly amusing.” Tyler Foster, DVD Talk

“OK, questions: why is Michael Jewish? Why is Fweddy done up like some late-80s rapper? Why is there but one murder of a non-important extra? Who green-lit this movie? It really is a train wreck of a film, made only worse when I learned that ‘Mason’ (Jesus wept…) was played by Ken Kirzinger, who played Jason – yes, Jason – in Freddy vs. Jason. Nothing in this film even flirts with being funny.” Hudson Lee, Vegan Voorhees

“It may not be as crude and offensive as the earlier Scary Movie films but it’s got its fair share of smut. There are a handful of decent scenes, probably the pick of which involves the characters stumbling onto the set of a hardcore gay porno featuring Frankenstein’s monster. But it’s slim pickings and they are too few and far between.”Andrew Smith, Popcorn Pictures

Cast and characters:

• Steve Howey as Stan Helsing
• Diora Baird as Nadine (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning)
• Kenan Thompson as Teddy
• Desi Lydic as Mia
• Leslie Nielsen as Kay (Scary Movie 3; Repossessed; Dracula: Dead and Loving It; Day of the Animals)
• Travis MacDonald as Hitcher
• Chad Krowchuk as Sully
• Darren Moore as Crazy
• Jeremy Crittenden as Altar Boy
• Jeff Gulka as Lucky (spoof of Chucky from Child’s Play)
• Ken Kirzinger as Mason (spoof of Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th)
• Ben Cotton as Fweddy (spoof of Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare on Elm Street) (Scar 3D)
• Lee Tichon as Michael Cryers (spoof of Michael Myers from Halloween)
• Twan Holliday as Pleatherface (spoof of Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
• Charles Zuckermann as Needlehead (spoof of Pinhead from Hellraiser)
• Hilary Strang as Hippie Lady
• Ray G. Thunderchild as Husband
• John DeSantis as Frankenstein’s Monster
• Ryan Steele as the Wolfman
• Jeremiah Sird as Idiot Indian

Buy on DVD with I Sell the Dead and My Name is Bruce: Amazon.co.uk

Filming locations:

Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, USA
Cloverdale and Pitt Meadows, British Columbia, Canada
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Trivia:

The film is known in some parts of Asia as Scary Movie 5, in Italy as Horror Movie and in Germany as Mega Monster Movie.

Wikipedia | IMDb

‘If you’ve never had them before… You’re going to get them now…’

The Willies is an American 1990 comedy horror anthology film anthology written and directed by Brian Peck (Scuz in The Return of the Living Dead).

Two brothers and their cousin gather around a campfire and tell scary stories:

• “Tennessee Frickasee” – A woman at a fast food restaurant finds a rat in her fried chicken.
• “Haunted Estate” – An old man (Bill Erwin) dies of a heart attack after experiencing the terrors of an amusement park’s horror ride.
• “Poodle Souffle” – An old woman puts her toy poodle in the microwave to dry off.
• “Bad Apples” – A boy named Danny struggles with school bullies and an irascible teacher (Kathleen Freeman). The only one who shows him any sympathy is the school custodian, Mr. Jenkins (James Karen). While on duty, Mr. Jenkins disappears in the bathroom, and Danny enters later to find Mr. Jenkins’ body with a detached head, and a humanoid monster lurking in the stall…
• “Flyboy” – Gordy Belcher (Michael Bower) is a reclusive, mischievous kid who plays pranks and who is obsessed with flies. He becomes fascinated with a secret manure created by Farmer Spivey, which causes crops to grow in increased sizes…

Reviews:

“Chances are if I had watched this at my most impressionable, I’d be sniggering more than shivering, because The Willies is a patently juvenile experience […] it lacks the color or the quirks of any number of EC Comics descendants, fashioned so basically as to be anemic and not helped by a uniform level of cheapness in performances and imagination.” John Bishop, Mind of Frames

“In a style not very much removed from the TV version of Goosebumps, you will find The Willies. A harmless, but gross a times anthology that plays out like Creepshow for kids, but equally as enjoyable for adults. In the opening moments of this movie we see not one but two different cast members of Twin Peaks!” Chuck Conry, Zombies Don’t Run

“If you saw it as a kid back in the day, you might have a nostalgic place for it in your heart, but trust me: this movie did not age well. The only reason to even trudge through this piece of duckbill platypus shit is the small appearance by James Karen.” Dymon Enlow, Happyotter

“It kinda plays out like an episode of Eerie, Indiana that’s been dumbed down for mass consumption, with urban legend-esque creepy tales that are so generic, I half-expected the killer with the hook hand or the truck driver flashing his brights to make an appearance.” Sean Gill, Junta Juleil’s Culture Shock

“What’s surprising is the violence. Not overly graphic, but there’s a nasty throat-slitting (which in the movie itself is fake, but still), an exploding dog, blood-spurts and a cool old-fashioned rubber-monster (that story, I see now, is a bit inspired by ‘The Crate’-episode in Creepshow)…” Ninja Dixon

“The Willies is a fairly amateurish production but I think its enjoyable on a certain cheese level. It would also help if I were twelve again. The film moves along at a great pace and is never dull, but it definitely targets a younger age range. The stories never really achieve any sort of scares, but are fun in a kind of TV anthology sort of way.” Wes R., Oh, the Horror!

Main cast:

• Sean Astin – Dead Ant; Stranger Things; Cabin Fever: Patient Zero; Borderland; The Goonies
• Michael Bower
• Ralph Drischell
• Kathleen Freeman – Gremlins 2: The New Batch
• Ian Fried
• James Karen – The Return of the Living Dead and sequel; Invaders from Mars; Time Walker; Poltergeist; Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster
• Jeremy Miller
• Clu Gulager – The Boneyard; From a Whisper to a Scream; Terror at London Bridge; The Return of the Living Dead; The Initiation

Wikipedia | IMDb

‘The murder mystery with a difference: you die laughing!’

The Old Dark House is a 1962 British comedy-horror film directed by William Castle (The Tingler; Mr. Sardonicus; House on Haunted Hill; et al) from a screenplay by Robert Dillon (X: The Man with X-Ray Eyes) for Hammer Films. It is a remake of the 1932 film of the same name directed by James Whale, both loosely based on the novel Benighted by J. B. Priestley.

Tom Penderel, an American car salesman living in London, delivers a car to an old mansion in Dartmoor and discovers that his eccentric former roommate, Casper Femm, is dead.

Tom is invited to stay at the house by members of Casper’s family, including his twin brother Jasper, and his nieces, the demure young Cecily and the seductive Morgana.

Each of the relatives is required to return to the dilapidated mansion before midnight each evening or forfeit his share of the family fortune. During the night, one of the Femm family dies every hour…

Reviews:

” …the house itself seems neither very old nor very dark (and if there’s no shortage of money in the family, why don’t they get the leaky roof fixed?), and far too much of the running time is spent on padding scenes of Tom Penderel being chased around by Uncle Morgan.” And You Call Yourself a Scientist!

“There is very little about his version of The Old Dark House that can be considered horror or even in the vein of macabre comedy any longer – a few jokes about corpses in coffins but mostly some not terribly funny gags with Tom Poston getting his tie in a bowl of acid and the like.” Richard Scheib, Moria

“When compared with the James Whale original upon which it is based, this remake of The Old Dark House is pretty sorry stuff.” Craig Butler, Allmovie

” …the picture looks very nice indeed but fails miserably to frighten or amuse […] the film’s only real touch of distinction is provided by Bernard Robinson’s magnificently dilapidated sets; indeed, bit of them would reappear in The Kiss of the Vampire…” Jonathan Rigby, English Gothic: A Century of Horror Cinema

Buy: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.ca

“Much like Terence Fisher’s The Horror of It All (1964), this strains to be kooky and strange, but its self-conscious spoofery can’t match the black humour and genuine creepiness Whale brought to the material. What it does have going for it is a great cast of British comedy icons… Andrew Pragasam, The Spinning Image

“The list of successful horror comedies is a short one, and unfortunately, The Old Dark House is not on it. It is not difficult to watch, being just “sick” enough to be occasionally funny but Hammer plus Castle did not add up to much.” Tom Johnson and Deborah Del Vecchio, Hammer Films: An Exhaustive Filmography

Buy: Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.com | Amazon.ca

” …a travesty which has nothing to do with the 1932 film and possesses no merit of its own. The cast is left floundering” John Walker (editor), Halliwell’s Film and Video Guide

“So outrageously bad that it becomes enjoyable…” Phil Hardy (editor), The Aurum Film Encyclopedia: Horror

“I expected very little and was pleasantly surprised. The script probably should have taken more chances, more opportunities with Old Dark House conventions. But the old decaying house looks great in color, and the cast is perfectly in sync with gifted comic actor Tom Poston (best known to my generation from the Newhart TV series) and gifted character actor Robert Morley…” David Elroy Goldweber, Claws & Saucers 

” …a laboriously arch and broad blend of humor and the creeps. It still leaves the old J. B. Priestley property as defunct as a doornail. Even a picturesque cast, headed by Tom Poston, Robert Morley, Janette Scott and, especially, Joyce Grenfell, can’t rejuvenate it.’ Bosley Crowther, The New York Times

Buy The William Castle Film Collection DVD: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk

“Thoroughly terrible remake of the 1932 movie completely failing as either a horror movie or a comedy spoof. No chills, no thrills and no laughs.” Alan Frank, The Horror Film Handbook

“Tom Poston, who had previously starred in Castle’s lame comedy Zotz! was unwisely chosen for the lead in The Old Dark House. Even a supporting cast of brilliant British character actors couldn’t overcome Poston’s annoying and unfunny performance.” Gary A. Smith, Uneasy Dreams: The Golden Age of British Horror Films, 1956 – 1976

“Some of the deaths are pretty ingenious but still can’t save the film. Not only does this fail as a horror film and a comedy, but it’s a pretty useless whodunit, too […] The Old Dark House also features possibly the worst animal attack in the history of cinema. An indeterminate, obviously stuffed creature is subjected to endless close-ups, with a faint snarling sound in the background. The special effects team somehow attempted to make the thing salivate.” Ryan Taylor, The Shrieking Sixties: British Horror Films 1960 – 1969

Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.com | Amazon.ca

“Castle is heavy-handed, the script is too far away from the source, and the colour film stock just takes away from any atmosphere. The fact that Bull and Morley used to trade their best lines with each other over smoked salmon for lunch gives you an idea of the sort of film it was…” Andy Boot, Fragments of Fear: An Illustrated History of British Horror Films

Buy: Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.com | Amazon.ca

Cast and characters:

• Tom Poston as Tom Penderel – Aaahh!!! Real Monsters TV series
• Robert Morley as Roderick Femm – The Wind; Theatre of Blood; A Study in Terror
• Janette Scott as Cecily Femm – Paranoiac; The Day of the Triffids
• Joyce Grenfell as Agatha Femm
• Mervyn Johns as Potiphar Femm – The Day of the Triffids; Dead of Night
• Fenella Fielding as Morgana Femm – Carry On Screaming!
• Peter Bull as Caspar/Jasper Femm – Footsteps in the Fog
• Danny Green as Morgan Femm
• John Harvey as Club Receptionist
• Amy Dalby as Gambler [uncredited]

Filming locations:

• Bray Studios, Down Place, Oakley Green, Berkshire, England, UK
• Cheyne Walk, Chelsea, London, England, UK
• Oakley Court, Windsor Road, Oakley Green, Windsor, Berkshire, England, UK

Trivia:

• The drawings in the title sequence were by Charles Addams, whose whole career was apparently inspired by the 1932 version of The Old Dark House (1932).
• Filmed from 19th April to 22nd June 1962, the film was released in the US by Columbia in 1963 (in black and white!) and in the UK in 1966, having been cut to secure a BBFC ‘A’ rating.
• William Castle does not even mention The Old Dark House in his autobiography, Step Right Up! I’m Gonna Scare the Pants Off America

Wikipedia | IMDb

‘They’ll scare your pants off… and give you a chill for life!’

Hillbillys in a Haunted House is a 1967 American comedy horror musical film directed by Jean Yarbrough (The Brute Man; King of the Zombies; The Devil Bat; et al) from a screenplay by Duke Yelton. It was produced by Bernard Woolner (Attack of the 50 Foot Woman).

The film is a sequel to The Las Vegas Hillbillys (1966), with Joi Lansing replacing Mamie Van Doren in the role of “Boots Malone”.

Country singers are headed to Nashville. Their car breaks down and they stop overnight at an abandoned house. A ring of international spies (Lon Chaney, Jr., Basil Rathbone and John Carradine) who live in the house are seeking a top-secret formula for rocket fuel.

While it is never revealed for whom they are spying, they carry out their activities under the cover of a supposed haunted house, which comes complete with a gorilla in the basement…

Reviews:

“So there are a few reasons to watch this turkey: (1) if you’re a classic horror buff and want to see these icons one more time (2) if you’re a Country & Western fan and are willing to sit through the bulk of this nonsense to get to the music (3) if you’re into the pneumatic Monroe/Mansfield/Van Doren wannabe Joi Lansing . If you’re not in any one of those three categories, steer clear.” Gary Loggins, Cracked Rear Viewer

“The good news is that the three horror icons, Carradine, Rathbone and Chaney Jr., have a few decent scenes (Carradine, at his absolute hammiest, is especially entertaining), as does George Barrows in his monkey suit […] To be fair, Hillbillys in a Haunted House isn’t nearly as bad as its reputation would lead you to believe…” 2,500 Movies Challenge

“The film rarely concerns itself with the haunted house aspect – certainly, Jean Yarbrough, a director famous for his poverty row career, fails to establish any atmosphere. There is the minor appearance of a ghost and a lurking ape, one of the staples of the Old Dark House genre, but mostly the film seems to centre more around spy capers, which were then in fad thanks to the success of the James Bond films.” Richard Scheib, Moria

“Sure it ain’t Citizen Kane by a longshot, but the combination of Ferlin Husky’s cockeyed charisma, Joi Lansing’s blouse-busting pulchritude, cobwebbed skeletons and rubber bats, sub-vaudeville skits and a pretty decent gorilla suit is oddly appealing. And dang it all if the toe-tappin’ country tunes ain’t too shabby.” Andrew Pragasam, The Spinning Image

With the exception of the performances of Basil Rathbone and John Carradine, Hillbillys in a Haunted House appears to have been cast with amateurs. Ferlin Husky sings well, but can’t act. Unless you love country music, you’ll probably hear way too much of it in this film. Just about everyone except Basil sings a pitiful song.” Marcia Jessen, BasilRathbone.net

“It’s pretty awful, but just how excruciating it is may well depend on two factors: 1) your tolerance for country music, and 2) the degree of your affection for the familiar faces of John Carradine, Lon Chaney Jr., and Basil Rathbone.” Dave Sindelar, Fantastic Movie Musings and Ramblings

The rest of the pressbook is on Zombo’s Closet

Cast and characters:

• Ferlin Husky as Woody Wetherby
• Joi Lansing as Boots Malone
• Don Bowman as Jeepers
• John Carradine as Dr. Himmil
• Lon Chaney Jr. as Maximillian
• Linda Ho as Madame Wong
• Basil Rathbone as Gregor
• Molly Bee as herself
• Merle Haggard as himself
• Sonny James as himself
• Jim Kent as himself
• Marcella Wright as herself
• Richard Webb as Agent Jim Meadows
• Larry Barton as Hillbilly
• George Barrows as Anatole the gorilla
• Pat Patterson as Hillbilly
• Allen Jung as Janitor
• Jay Jasin as Television Announcer
• Marshall Wright as Hillbilly
• Virginia Ann Lee as Agent Ming Toy

Wikipedia | IMDb | Image credits: The Dwrayger Dungeon

‘Crazy has come to town for a visit’

Undead is a 2003 Australian science fiction horror comedy film written and directed by Michael and Peter Spierig (Winchester: The House That Ghosts Built; Jigsaw; Daybreakers); it stars Felicity Mason, Mungo McKay and Rob Jenkins.

After losing her family farm to the bank, local beauty pageant winner Rene (Felicity Mason) decides to leave the small town of Berkeley. A number of strange meteorites are seen falling nearby, turning the local inhabitants into zombies. Rene and other survivors hide in the home of gun nut and alien abductee Marion (Mungo McKay).

The group ventures outside to scavenge, but encounter the zombies. Marion shoots one in the head and discovers that is the way to keep the creatures down. They try to flee, only to find a huge barrier surrounding the entire town, which Marion blames on the aliens that had taken him…

Reviews:

“When Undead sticks to the standard zombie-flick conventions, it’s a fairly successful (if not particularly unique) homage to Romero’s trademark sub-genre … but Undead also manages to wander deep into spacey sci-fi territory […] The end result is a movie that boasts several isolated scenes which stand out and command your attention, but it’s never able to congeal into a satisfying whole.” Scott Weinberg, DVD Talk

” …I don’t think the Spierig brothers have adequately defined what they want to accomplish. They go for laughs with dialogue at times when verbal jokes are at right-angles to simultaneous visual jokes. They give us gore that is intended as meaningless and funny, and then when the aliens arrive they seem to bring a new agenda.” Roger Ebert

“Relatively minor quibbles aside, Undead was a full meal that train-wrecked zombie carnage, kinetic style and creative ideas my way. Tag to that, its 50s invasion, zombie and Spaghetti Western feel and you get an indie power house that I’m proud to call “honey bunny”. This one has “Cult Classic” and “Fun Freaking Times” written all over it.” Arrow in the Head

“It’s not that Undead is bad, because I don’t think it’s actually that bad. Its problem is that the directing/writing siblings are unable to understand the need for sympathetic characters. Not a single one of Undead’s cast is likeable. Not a single one.” Nix, Beyond Hollywood

“ …not only does it refuse to explain itself: it also tries to mislead the audience, to fool it into thinking it’s going to play out the way a conventional zombie movie might. Any low-budget film that attempts this sort of misdirection is taking an incredible risk, but the result is a film that’s one of the most engaging and rewarding that the zombie subgenre has ever produced.” Braineater.com

” …it feels like two films, one a gore-drenched zombie movie with tongue considerably planted in cheek, and the other a puzzle film about alien abductions that takes itself seriously. The tone between these two aspects of the film is markedly different and never fully gels together or even explains much of what is happening until the very end.” Richard Scheib, Moria

Cast and characters:

• Felicity Mason as Rene
• Mungo McKay as Marion
• Rob Jenkins as Wayne
• Lisa Cunningham as Sallyanne
• Dirk Hunter as Harrison
• Emma Randall as Molly
• Noel Sheridan as Chip
• Gaynor Wensley as Aggie
• Eleanor Stillman as Ruth
• Robyn Moore as Officer in Locker Room
• Robert Jozinović as Man in Office
• Steven O’Donnell as Featured zombie

Wikipedia | IMDb

‘Dream girls can be a nightmare’

The Babysitter is a 2017 American teen horror-comedy film directed by McG from a screenplay by Brian Duffield. It stars Judah Lewis, Samara Weaving, Robbie Amell and Bella Thorne.

The film was released by Netflix on October 13, 2017.

Cole (Judah Lewis) is madly in love with his babysitter (Samara Weaving) Bee. She’s hot, funny, and popular.

One night, in a moment of defiance, Cole secretly stays up his bedtime to discover she’s actually a cold-blooded killer who’s in league with the Devil.

He now must spend his night evading Bee’s band of killers who will stop at nothing to prevent Cole from spilling their dark secret. It’s up to Cole to survive the night…

Reviews:

” …a fast-paced, crazy-as-hell bloodbath. Boobs are shot, throats are chopped open, eyeballs gouged, the works. All the while, the movie maintains its upbeat, nearly John Hughes-esque sense of humor – it’s really more of a comedy than a horror movie. The best comparison I can make is the recently-released Better Watch Out…” Eric Walkuski, Arrow in the Head

“The Babysitter had potential but director McG treats this material like it’s one of the lamer American Pie sequels. The broadness of the humor detracts from the characters and the story and the horror, instead of complementing them. It may be manic enough to amuse some horror fans, but it’s so immature — even about its own immaturity — that it’s difficult to recommend.” William Bibbiani, IGN

” …a thrilling, amusing and sportive game of cat and mouse as Cole has to avoid getting murdered by Bee and her cult friends. The film does not over dramatise its gags. Nor does it excruciatingly drag them out. In the end, The Babysitter becomes a modern-day Home Alone slasher […] and I was completely sold on it.” Daniel Hart, Ready Steady Cut

“There are moments that feel a little overkill – a choreographed disco dance routine, a reenactment of a confrontation from an old western – but all in all it balances out nicely to give us a horror comedy which isn’t super-scary or super-funny, but is always great fun, and has the good grace to be over and done with in barely 85 minutes.” Ben Bussey, Warped Perspective

“The Babysitter is ridiculous in the best possible ways without ever fully tipping over into spoof territory, but running beneath the big laughs and extreme violence are some worthwhile themes about growing up and taking responsibility. They never get in the way of the pure entertainment, but they add a sweetness early on and in the film’s third act that give the movie a little bit extra.” Rob Hunter, Film School Rejects

” …for a horror comedy, a genre blend which has been plagued by terrible movies for as long as I can remember, The Babysitter deserves to be put on a pedestal as one of the good ones. I’m talking somewhere alongside Zombieland and Bride of Chucky.” Amari Sali, Wherever I Look

“Clumsy set-up aside, there’s a devilishly black sense of humour at work in the script from Brian Duffield (Insurgent) and this is a horror movie which has its tongue (and occasionally a kitchen knife) firmly in cheek. You probably couldn’t ask for a better movie treat for Friday the 13th…” What the Craggus Saw…

“The Babysitter is one of those horror comedies you just can’t miss. It has all the right elements, and since it’s directed by McG (Charlie’s Angels), you know it looks absolutely spectacular as well. This is one visually delicious horror comedy.” by Karina Adelgaard, Heaven of Horror

Cast and characters:

• Samara Weaving as Bee
• Judah Lewis as Cole
• Robbie Amell as Max
• Hana Mae Lee as Sonya
• King Bach as John
• Emily Alyn Lind as Melanie
• Leslie Bibb as Cole’s mom
• Ken Marino as Cole’s dad

Filming locations:

Los Angeles, California, USA

Wikipedia | IMDb

Attack of the Bat Monsters is a 1999 American comedy film written, edited, co-produced and directed by Kelly Greene. It stars Michael Dalmon, Maurice Ripke and Fred Ballard.

In the 1959, a group of filmmakers are trying to complete a low budget creature feature in just three days before a bullying crew from a major studio comes along and take over their movie location…

Reviews:

“Comedy’s hard, but it’s even harder to be this funny while maintaining a fundamental respect for the film’s characters, and it is that humanity that turns out to be Greene’s greatest trump card.” Scott Foundas, Variety

“It has been compared to movies like Larry Blamire’s The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001), but Greene’s film […] has more in common with Wim Wenders’s The State of Things (1982) and especially Joe Dante and Allan Arkush’s Hollywood Boulevard (1976). It’s a cult movie in the best sense: it’s well made with strong acting and a witty script full of references and in jokes to films past.” Daniel Stillings, UK Horror Scene

“The films’ characters and Greene’s writing brilliantly portrayed the frenzied writer, director and actors of those films and the quick turnaround time and measly budgets allotted to them. The dialogue between characters is witty and has a rhythm to the patter that is edgy.” Lisa Franklin

Filming locations:

Austin, Texas, USA

IMDb

‘The bike that runs on blood not petrol’

I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle is a 1990 British comedy horror film directed by Dirk Campbell from a screenplay by producer Mycal Miller and John Wolskel. It stars Neil Morrissey, Amanda Noar, and Michael Elphick.

Birmingham biker Nick “Noddy” Oddie (Neil Morrissey) thinks he’s got a bargain when he buys a second-hand 850cc Norton Commando motorcycle at a knockdown price. The only problem is that the machine won’t start in daylight hours.

Nick’s suspicions begin to mount when his best friend is murdered, and it eventually transpires that he is in fact the owner of a monstrous vampire motorbike that stalks the streets at night, feasting upon Hell’s Angels, streetwalkers and traffic wardens.

Nick enlists the help of a priest (Anthony Daniels) and police inspector Cleaver (Michael Elphick) in order to exorcise the two-wheeled beast…

I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle is released in the UK on Blu-ray and DVD by Screenbound Pictures on 27 November 2017.

Buy: Amazon.co.uk

Reviews:

“There’s blood a-plenty, lots of awful jokes, and a couple of interesting characters involved – plus a talking turd in a totally gratuitous scene which plumbs new depths of bad taste. Great. For the anally retentive, there’s a lot of in-jokes and referencing going on as well.” British Horror Films

“Elphick, Morrissey and David Daker, who plays a desk sergeant, had all worked together in the British comedy/drama Boon and so had a chemistry already […] Morrissey always makes for a personable, if a little dim, character. However we must mention Anthony Daniels (yes, C-3P0) who was absolutely marvellous. Great stuff.” Taliesin Meets the Vampires

“So, will this be your cup of tea? Well, it depends on your tolerance towards dopey comedy. While it occasionally is too dumb for it’s own good, I found it to be a fun ride (pun intended), as it feels like a worthy heir to oddball Brit horrors like Horror Hospital and Psychomania.” Talk of Horrors

” …just about works it’s way to an average rating with it’s exuberance and sense of self-belief (not to mention the surprisingly enjoyable, generic soundtrack) but it just has far too much to work against with the onslaught of poor, groan some gags, the silliness of the whole scenario and the complete lack of tension throughout.” For It Is Man’s Number

” …this British pic turns out to be surprisingly nasty and amusing […] an imaginative spoof that ends up being much more entertaining than the type of pics it’s making light of.” Steven Puchalski, Shock Cinema

“The film is gory in an early Peter Jackson style and the splattery effects, much like the films storyline, are played for laughs. The bike eats flesh and dismembers and decapitates its victims. In one cinematic first, actor Daniel Peacock is turned into a surreal, rubbery talking turd.” David Michael Brown, Digital Retribution

Cast and characters:

• Neil Morrissey – Noddy – Crucible of the Vampire
• Amanda Noar – Kim
• Michael Elphick – Inspector Cleaver – The Elephant Man; See No Evil; Cry of the Banshee
• Anthony Daniels – Priest
• Andrew Powell – Roach
• George Rossi – Chopper
• Daniel Peacock – Buzzer
• Midge Taylor – First Road Toad
• David Daker – Desk Sergeant
• Burt Kwouk – Fu King Owner
• Brendan Donnison – Satanist High Priest
• Graham Padden – Dorm
• Paula Ann Bland – Hospital Nurse
• Terence Budd – Bikes
• Ann Casson – Mrs. Bancroft
• Douglas Campbell – Mr. Bancroft
• Ed Devereaux – Pub Landlord
• Colin Campbell – Moped
• John Wolskel – Clyde
• Solly Assa – Victor
• Esta Charkham – Mrs. P.C. Harold

Wikipedia | IMDb

Image thanks/credits: Film on Paper | VHS Wasteland

Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire is a 2000 made-for-television Disney comedy horror film directed by Steve Boyum from a screenplay by Robert Keats, based on a story by Lindsay Naythons. It stars Matt O’Leary, Caroline Rhea, Charles Shaughnessy, Laura Vandervoort, and Robert Carradine.

Lynette Hansen (Caroline Rhea) is a single mother who has grounded her teenage kids Adam (Matt O’Leary) and Chelsea (Laura Vandervoort) for misbehaving. But Adam’s best friend has scored tickets for a rock concert, while Chelsea is trying to find a way to keep a date with her boyfriend.

Chelsea thinks she may have the solution when she arranges for Lynette to go on a blind date with a mysterious but good-looking stranger, Dimitri Dentatois (Charles Shaughnessy); with Mom out of the house, slipping out for some fun will be a breeze.

However, the youngest member of the Hansen family, Taylor (Myles Jeffrey), is a big horror movie buff, and when he meets Dimitri, he’s convinced that his mom is going out on the town with a creature of the night…

Reviews:

” …Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire fully embodies the “anything can happen” vibe of All Hallows’ Eve. Kids ride their bikes through sleepy suburban streets at nighttime, the supermarket is decked out with festive cardboard décor, the fall carnival is in full swing, and the excitement surrounding a Headless Horseman rock concert is electrifying the town.” Derek Anderson, Daily Dead

“All of the cast give likeable performances. There are some very cheap morphing effects. The result is amiable and bubbly enough not to wear out the silliness of a mildly amusing premise. This is a film that manages to straddle being a vampire film, children’s film and plant its tongue-in-cheek, all with an appealing balance.” Richard Scheib, Moria

“There are a lot of hidden jokes for fans of the genre and a great implementation of archetypes commonly found in horror films. The discovery of the threat and the willingness to believe it’s true is very tied in to character arcs in the film. Those arcs are accentuated by how good the performances are…” Bernardo Villela, The Movie Rat

Cast and characters:

• Caroline Rhea as Lynette Hansen – Sabrina the Teenage Witch
• Matthew [aka Matt] O’Leary as Adam Hansen – Santa Clarita Diet; Stung; Sorority Row; Frailty
• Robert Carradine as Malachi Van Helsing – Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda; Slumber Party Slaughter; The Terror Experiment; The 13th Alley; Tooth and Nail; Monster Night; Attack of the Sabertooth; Ghosts of Mars; Lycanthrope; Humanoids from the Deep (1996); Body Bags; et al
• Laura Vandervoort as Chelsea Hansen – Jigsaw; Bitten; V; Goosebumps
• Myles Jeffrey as Taylor Hansen
• Charles Shaughnessy as Dimitri Denatos – Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated; Gargoyles TV series; Aaahh!!! Real Monsters
• Jake Epstein as Duffy
• J. Adam Brown as Boomer

Wikipedia | IMDb